Giveaway and Book Review of Three Sisters
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Genre: Humor, Satire
Publisher: Dragon Tree Books
Release Date: July 23, 2013
Buy: Amazon
Book
Description:
Publisher: Dragon Tree Books (July
23, 2013)
Category/Genre: Humor, Literary
Fiction, Inspirational, Satire, Philosophy
ISBN13: 9780988402478 Tour Date: November, 2013 Available in: Print & ebook, 401  Nuns just want to have fun! But
when three former Catholic nuns, Coito Gott, Theodora
Suora andRegina Grant have too much fun and get in trouble with the
law, they become nuns on the run.
Driving back to Washington D.C.
where they work at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Parts, the three
sisters are arrested in Tennessee. After defeating the local deputy in strip
poker, they escape from jail, and are pursued by the zealous Detective
Schmuck Hole, who has personally offered a $10,000 reward for their capture
on the 700 Club. Little do they know that when the three sisters visit the
Washington Monument, their lives will change forever.
Set in 1979, The Three Sisters is
a sacrilegious satire that skewers not only organized religion, but the
government, the media, intellectuals, corporate greed and every other part of
the establishment. Maybe not the greatest story ever told, but possibly the
funniest.
"Blessed are they who read
The Three Sisters, for they shall inherit eternal laughter." - Matthew
5:66
Praise for The Three Sisters:
"This may sound
odd but I never thought of myself as a big fan of religious satire...until I
read this book. I was caught right away by the three sexy nuns on the cover. A
friend recommended it to me and I didn't think I would like it so I ventured
to "skim" the first chapter. I must say that first chapter wowed me
with excitement and I became so intrigued...I ended up with finishing it in
two days.
If you're looking for
a serious study of religion or to explore the depths of the human condition,
this book is probably not for you. The whole point of it was to be a
roller-coaster of a ride - sexy naughty nuns running amok in 1970's
America and not looking back.
Heavy on wordplay,
allusions, and references to famous philosopher's such as Voltaire, Taylor
thumbs his nose at the common institutions and over-used plots. So if
you're not afraid to ruffle some religious feathers, this might be the book
for you."-
Joshua Silverman,
Author of The Emerald Tablet (Legends of Amun Ra, #1)
"This book is a
hysterical read-not for the faint hearted or the easily offended. I
thoroughly enjoyed Taylor's sense of humor, writing style, and his use of
innuendos, pun, satire, etc. He is a master at intertwining historical events
of the Bible, church history, and religious stereotypes along with history in
the 1970s. More than half way through, the book has a great surprise that I
cannot say more about without giving too much information. I can only say
that I laughed for two days. The character development of each of the three
sisters (and some of the other characters such as Victor) is
superb."- Maureen Burton, Amazon Reviewer
"Reading The
Three Sisters May Add to your Years in Purgatory, but It's Worth It.
After reading The Three Sisters, I realize that Taylor has made the ultimate
sacrifice. He is definitely going to Hell for writing this book, or if he is
lucky, he'll probably spend about five trillion years in Purgatory. But hey,
his loss was my gain.
I really liked this
book. It was witty in an Oscar Wilde or Mark Twain sort of way and made me
laugh throughout. Not only is the main character highly sacrilegious, but the
plot itself is about as sacrilegious as you'll get. But the book is as much
satire as sacrilege, and the sacrilege just lays the foundation for the rest
of Taylor's skewering of society.
The book is set in
1979, and only after you finish the book will you realize why (no spoiler
here. I found myself pulling for all the three sisters to overcome
their predicament. Consequently, I couldn't put the book down."- S.
Zehntner, Amazon Reviewer
"I took one look
at the cover and thought to myself, I don't remember any nuns looking like
that in Catholic School. So I decided to read the book and was glad that I
did. Not only was the book very funny, but the plot went in directions I
wasn't expecting. As I read on, I didn't want to put the book down until I
found out what the final fate of the three sisters was.
Though the novel was
set in 1979, all of the satire applies to today just as easily as it does to
1979. The book reminds us that the Catholic Church, self-righteous
evangelicals, corporate greed, self-interested politicians, and the
self-obsessed media haven't changed all that much.
Few novels provide
illustrations, but The Three Sisters includes several very funny
illustrations, including ones for Virgin Mary Milk and The Spanish
Inquisition Toy Set. Too funny.
Though the book is
sacrilegious, the author doesn't get heavy-handed about it. Taylor keeps the
satire fun and rolling along until the very end. I only wish I could have
attended the Festivities in person.
So if you want to see
what happens when a pleasantly twisted mind writes a novel instead of going
to therapy, read The Three Sisters."- So. Cal Book Worm, Amazon
Reviewer
"Simply divine!
The plot: naughty nuns conquer America! Set in a mythical past, this satire
is truly one of a kind. The author has a wicked sense of humor and an
imagination that defies description. The more offbeat your own sense of humor
is, the more you'll appreciate this book. I highly recommend this for anyone
who's looking for something unusual."-Mari Trevelyan, Amazon Reviewer
About Bryan Taylor:
Bryan Taylor is a double PK, a
preacher's kid of a preacher's kid. With that legacy he faced two destinies,
being an unhappy triple PK (Jubilees 17:23, "He that is born unto the
son of a preacher and himself preaches shall be miserable until his dying day
and suffer eternal damnation."), or being sacrilegious and happy.
 He decided to forsake the Southern
Baptists for Catholicism, but when he applied to join a convent, he was
rejected (sex discrimination!), so he decided to do the next best thing:
write a novel about the three nuns he would most like to meet.
Bryan Taylor was born in
Louisiana, grew up in Michigan and Texas, went to school in Tennessee, South
Carolina and California, taught in Switzerland for a year, and has traveled
to 50 countries, more than any Pope except Saint John Paul II. He now lives
in California, which is one of the few places with people crazier than him.
The Three Sisters
Website: http://www.threesistersnovel.com/
Bryan Taylor Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BryanTaylorAuthor Bryan Taylor Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/3sistersnovel/books/ |
Author Links
Website: http://www.threesistersnovel.com/
Blog: http://www.threesistersnovel.com/blog/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BryanTaylorAuthor
Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18246773-the-three-sisters
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/3sistersnovel/books/
Giveaway: Signed Paperback
Excerpt:
Chapter 1
One
of our goals in Catholic School was to save the Pagan Babies. For only five
dollars, which seemed like a pretty good deal to me, we could get a Pagan Baby
baptized and sent to heaven. They even showed us short movies of Catholic
missionaries in Africa baptizing the Pagan babies to spur us on. We could buy a
saint stamp for ten cents to paste in a book, and when the book was full, we
could redeem the book for a Pagan Baby, whom we could name on our Pagan Baby
Adoption Certificate. When we were first told about this opportunity, I rushed
home to my parents and said, “Guess what, I’m going to have a baby, and she’s
black,” which would have given my dad multiple heart attacks were it not for
the biological impossibility of my statement at that tender age.
These Catholic equivalents
to S&H Green Stamps prepared us for the future because they taught us how
to buy on the installment plan. I asked our teacher if our book were half full,
if we could we redeem it for half a Pagan Baby, but she said no, so there was
always a rush to fill the book before the Pagan Baby Awards Day ceremony. There
was a poster with Jesus in a pastoral scene at the front of the classroom and
every time someone adopted a Pagan Baby, we got to add a child to the poster.
By the end of the school year, Jesus had become the most prolific father in
history.
In a way I thought the
pagans were lucky. They automatically went to limbo and didn’t risk going to
Hell until the missionaries baptized them. I could just imagine tribes fleeing
the missionaries to make sure they kept their spot reserved in limbo. When my
mother told me that our dog had gone to “Doggie Heaven,” I wondered whether
unbaptized pagan dogs went to “Doggie Limbo.”
After realizing that once
the Pagan Babies were baptized, they too would need a Catechism to guide them
along the straight and narrow path, I wrote K’s
Catechism for Cannibals in perfect Palmer Method penmanship, providing
dozens of important questions and answers as well as prayers written just for
the pagan cannibals.
Q: Is it better to cook a
Virgin Martyr or a Heretic?
A: It is better to cook a
Virgin Martyr than a Heretic because the Virgin Martyr is sweeter to the palate
and the meat is softer to cook than that of a Heretic.
Q: Should a converted Cannibal
woman continue to walk around topless?
A: A converted Cannibal
should continue to walk around topless because Priests are celibate and will
not be tempted.
I even provided the
cannibals with a prayer to say before each meal.
Our Martyr, who hath been
cooked, blessed be thy meat. Thy flesh be done, so thy sweet taste will fill us
when we eat.
I sold my literary creation
to my fellow students for a dime and then contributed all my earnings to
converting the Pagan Babies in Africa. Despite my altruistic intentions, when
the sisters got a copy of my addition to the canon, they imposed an excessive
number of penances on me. The nun who imposed the greatest guilt and fear in us
was Sister Mary Margaret whom we referred to as Attilla the Nun because she behaved
more like a four-foot, ten-inch tall Auschwitz prison matron than a Sister of
Mercy. Some students were convinced that not only did she have eyes in the back
of her head, but that the Blessed Virgin Mary had endowed her with the ability
to see through walls and read our minds. It was rumored that she made extra
money in the summer by training Marine Drill Sergeants, and we had no doubt
that she gave every penny she made to the church. We joked that Satan would
rather do battle with the Archangel Gabriel than Sister Mary Margaret because
at least Satan had a chance with Gabriel. Even K watched her step around Attila
the Nun.
Review:
Religious
satire written in autobiographical format, this book is not for those who hold
religion as an untouchable sacred thing.
Rather this book is for those who can laugh at themselves and those
around them. Written tongue in cheek,
this book is a humorous look at a typically off-limits topic.
I
found it confusing at times but otherwise a laugh out loud read. I give this book 4 out of 5 clouds.
This
product or book may have been distributed for review; this in no way affects my
opinions or reviews.
