Book Review
of The Night Budda Got Deep In It
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Book Review
of Title Sponsored by
Welcome to Books, Books, and More Books. I am pleased to share my review of this book
with you. Thank you for visiting and
please come again.
Blurb
:
Fifteen-year-old
Budda (Butter with a southern drawl) Jessico leads an unremarkable and
anonymous life in suburban St. Louis. He’s not unpopular, because someone would
first have to notice him. Except for the tormenting by his older brother,
however, Budda is content. He follows his father’s rules and stays out of
trouble. Then, at the urging of Blood Mama (his birth mother), a voice only
Budda hears, he catches a bus to Kentucky to rescue his former foster sister,
Addie.
As soon as Budda reaches Louisville, he goes to a McDonald’s for the first time in his life where he meets the resolute Baresha, a fellow runaway on her own adventure. Then Budda’s mission to find his sister goes downhill. He hitches a ride to Valkyrie, Addie’s hometown, in hopes of saving her from some danger Blood Mama won’t reveal. Instead, Budda encounters her blood kin, led by the ominous Odyn Starkwether and his violent brother Dickie.
A drug shipment controlled by the Starkwethers has disappeared and so has Addie. The brothers have a mess to clean up, and Budda is soon in the middle of it. At first, Budda goes along willingly, if it will help him find Addie. Before long, though, Budda realizes it’s sometimes better to stay put.
As soon as Budda reaches Louisville, he goes to a McDonald’s for the first time in his life where he meets the resolute Baresha, a fellow runaway on her own adventure. Then Budda’s mission to find his sister goes downhill. He hitches a ride to Valkyrie, Addie’s hometown, in hopes of saving her from some danger Blood Mama won’t reveal. Instead, Budda encounters her blood kin, led by the ominous Odyn Starkwether and his violent brother Dickie.
A drug shipment controlled by the Starkwethers has disappeared and so has Addie. The brothers have a mess to clean up, and Budda is soon in the middle of it. At first, Budda goes along willingly, if it will help him find Addie. Before long, though, Budda realizes it’s sometimes better to stay put.
About the
Author:
I started my adult
life as a journalist, but gave it up when I realized I wasn't going to become
Walter Cronkite. I grew up in small towns in Missouri and Iowa, which make my
adopted hometown of Louisville look like Manhattan.
I envy the dialogue of Daniel Woodrell, the sense of place of Silas House, and how Wendell Berry makes writing seem deceptively easy. I appreciate Elmore Leonard for being Elmore Leonard. I don't write like anyone but me.
I envy the dialogue of Daniel Woodrell, the sense of place of Silas House, and how Wendell Berry makes writing seem deceptively easy. I appreciate Elmore Leonard for being Elmore Leonard. I don't write like anyone but me.
Contacts:
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Excerpt:
The
Night Budda Got Deep in It
1
Budda finished
the plastic-sheathed copy of Oliver Twist
and jammed it into his overstuffed backpack. The book wouldn’t be due back at
the school library for another week, but he already considered it stolen,
because he would never return to Kirkwood High. He had never pilfered anything
before. Never so much as broken curfew. And now he was running off to Kentucky.
With a stolen book. With money he thieved from his brother. My, what a rebel he
had become.
The library book
had more or less engaged him until the end, though Budda could have made do
with half as many words — a good portion of which could have been Swahili, for
all he knew. He’d only decided to read the book to look and feel smarter,
though that objective hadn’t been met.
Budda fantasized
about a Dickens spin on his own story, one where a mysterious benefactor or
long-lost relative would rescue him from his crummy life. Or, at least, what
passed for crummy in the mind of a kid who felt oppressed by his loathsome big
brother and fretful father. He met the basic requirements. He never met his
birth parents, and he was running away from the one who raised him. Budda could
envision destiny leading him to reunite with the parents he never knew, or
possibly a rich, doting relative who would support him for life.
Never mind that
Budda had never been to Kentucky and knew no one there except for Addie. And
never mind that his family life wasn’t as bad as he imagined. Try to convince a
15-year-old differently when he has his mind made up, and see how far you get.
No Oliver Twist
ending for Budda. His birth mother, who gave him up when he was a day old,
overdosed in the Sikeston Motel 6. Her body was in full hypostasis when the
manager discovered her the next day, a crust of vomit on the carpet where her
face lay.
If she were
still alive, she couldn’t have sworn on a Gideon who Budda’s biological father
was. At best, she could narrow the list to three lamentable candidates — give
her that much credit — but none of them had rich relatives or were prone to
doting on anything other than a bottle of Old Grand Dad. Budda’s parentage was
Missouri dead-end hill trash to the core. His adoptive family, even the oafish
brother he hoped would someday lose a limb in a wood chipper, was quite a few
steps above that.
Budda’s birth
mother, the one he called Blood Mama, had kept him company ever since his
foster care days. She rode with him now on the Greyhound. She was no ghost to
Budda, because she was still alive as far as he knew. (The story of the Motel 6
would have to wait a while.) She was more like an invisible advisor, a constant
presence who counseled him, though often wrongly, on every aspect of his life.
He knew nothing about the real Blood Mama, other than that her tweaking habit
had kept her from keeping him. He pictured her alive somewhere down in the
Boot-heel, working on getting her life straight. Budda would give her plenty of
time to make the right ways stick, and then he’d go find her, too, just like he
was doing with Addie.
It was Blood
Mama who convinced him to give up on his family and to take after Addie. Blood
Mama said his foster sister needed saving from something, though she had been
short on specifics. Budda had a feeling Blood Mama wasn’t sure herself what the
trouble was. It didn’t matter. Budda had pined for his sister since she had
moved out. Once he found her and rescued her from whatever mess she was in, he
would start a new life in Kentucky. It couldn’t be any worse than life in
Kirkwood.
Blood Mama
currently advised Budda on what he should do about his father.
Don’t you think I should call him? Budda asked.
You’ll just get him riled up more. If
you’re running away, you need to make a clean break of it, Blood Mama said.
I don’t want him to be worried. You know
how he is. He’ll think somebody abducted me.
So you think he’ll quit worrying if he
knows you run off from home and crossed three state lines to find the girl
instead? Just let him be.
I won’t call him, but I should at least
text him, Budda said,
thumbing the keys on his phone. I won’t
say where I’m going, but I’ll tell him not to worry.
Well then, he’ll be sure to sleep sound
tonight, won’t he?
Budda usually
listened patiently to what Blood Mama had to say, which took up a good deal of
time, because the woman had an opinion on everything. With all that listening,
Budda didn’t have much time for talking. The less he spoke, the dumber people
thought he was. Budda didn’t fight that perception, because he believed there
was a good amount of truth to it. He didn’t remember anything about his first
foster family, but he theorized he had been dropped on his head, because even
simple ideas came alive in his brain only with great effort, as slow to ignite
as rain-sated firewood.
Budda didn’t
talk out loud to Blood Mama, but he sometimes moved his lips and even
gesticulated when he got lost in conversation with her. For that, kids at
school thought he wasn’t only slow, but a bit off upstairs. Future wacko hobo
material. That didn’t make him unique at Kirkwood High, but it didn’t guarantee
a lot of prom dates either.
By the time the
Greyhound reached Effingham, Illinois, commercial bus travel had lost its
appeal for Budda. His bony butt was not contoured for long trips, and this was
the longest one he had been on. Even worse, the driver maintained an
uncomfortably cold cabin. Budda shivered for much of the trip, because he
hadn’t brought anything warm to wear — it had been unseasonably mild for
mid-October when he left St. Louis. Proper preparation was not his strong suit.
According to Budda’s
phone, which was a scratch-and-dent, double hand-me-down Nokia from his dad to
his brother to him, it was a little after eight in the evening. The aquamarine
display flashed another text message from his father, which Budda deleted
without reading. He turned off the audio alerts so he wouldn’t be tempted to
answer when his father called or texted again, which he would do repeatedly,
because the man was most in his element when he had something big to worry
about. And this was a whopper.
It soon wouldn’t
matter how often his dad tried to reach Budda. The Nokia’s battery was on its
last bar, and he had neglected to pack its charger.
In a span of a few hours, Budda would visit
three states that were new to him. He had never been to Illinois until that night,
even though he lived only twenty minutes the other side of the Mississippi.
He’d always imagined Illinois was just like East St. Louis from border to
border. He had heard enough stories about the city across the river that he
pictured it as an endless string of beer and shot bars, low wattage strip
joints, and condemned two-stories that had transformed into crack houses. He
also believed psycho killers prowled for innocent teenagers in every dark
alley. Budda came by these ideas through his father, who had warned Budda and
Lando about the atrocities that awaited them in the Land of Lincoln.
“Don’t ever,
ever cross that bridge,” Dad said. “It’s easy to get lost over there. If you do,
I’m afraid I’ll never see you alive again. Your name and picture will be on the
front page of the Post-Dispatch when
they find chunks of you in some industrial waste dump.”
What a sunny
outlook the man had, yet Budda had never doubted him. Until this night, Budda
had been the obedient son, the one who was never tempted to sneak across the
river to that devil’s playground, or anywhere else beyond a two block radius of
home. Now he had flushed away all that built-up trustworthiness, because he was
overcome with the need to see Addie, the only one in his family who had ever
treated him like he had more going on upstairs than an earthworm.
The Illinois
that Budda saw now wasn’t at all forbidden-looking, unless a guy was allergic
to corn or other grain crops. There wasn’t much to the Illinois color palette,
just monochromatic beiges as far as he could see, with not a stripper or crack
whore anywhere in sight. When the sanguine sun dropped past the meridian on its
way to California, the landscape became speckled with the lights of remote
farmsteads. Those must be some lonely people living out there, Budda thought.
He hoped Kentucky wasn’t like that. He preferred suburbs like Kirkwood with
lots of lights, people, and signs to tell you where to go if you got lost.
Budda switched
to a different bus in Indianapolis, which was not as full as the first one. He
regarded a girl about his age who sat near the front of the bus. Budda couldn’t
make out what she looked like, if she was pretty or plain, but she was the only
other young person on the trip, and she seemed much more acclimated to bus
riding than Budda did. She got on, sunk into her seat like she was in for the
long haul, and plugged in the ear buds to her iPod. He admired and envied her
lackadaisical demeanor, as though she had ridden a thousand buses just like
this one and nothing could faze her. Conversely, he was sure all the other
passengers knew just by looking at him that he was a novice at bus travel. He
was the one who couldn’t walk down to the street corner without his father
wanting to put a tracking device on him.
Budda mused
about what he might say to the girl if given the chance. He had never said more
than a word or two to any girl other than Addie, who wasn’t really his sister
in a blood or legal way. She had left the Jessico home and moved back to a
God-knows-where-hamlet in Kentucky. Addie had told him the name of the place,
saying it was near Louisville, which she pronounced “Lou-vull”, like the middle
syllable wasn’t worth the effort. Budda remembered that part well, but he
couldn’t quite grab hold of the name of Addie’s hometown. He was sure it was
stuck in his memory, but buried in there so deeply that he couldn’t bust it
loose.
That was another
important detail he should have nailed down before he left St. Louis. Taking a
minute to scan the Louisville area on Google Maps would have helped him summon
up the name of Addie’s town, but he didn’t think of that. That and the fact he didn’t have his sister’s
phone number would indicate that his journey wouldn’t go well, but Blood Mama
said Budda was just being whimsical. Tomato/tomahto.
The bus pulled
into the Louisville station shortly after two in the morning. Budda could tell
as the bus crossed the Ohio River that Louisville’s skyline was smaller than
the one in St. Louis. He trusted that would make it easier to find Addie. He
was for sure going to put everything he had into the effort, because he could
never return to St. Louis. His brother would kill him the second he got back
inside the front door.
Budda didn’t
know what to do now that he was in Louisville. He had no plans for how to start
looking for Addie. Second thoughts started to creep into his head just as he
was about to step off the bus.
Don’t turn into a weenie on me already, Blood Mama said. You’re not going anywhere but to find and rescue your sister.
I think this was a bad idea, Blood Mama.
I don’t even know where to find her, and you’re not telling me what trouble
she’s in. What if it’s something I can’t get her out of?
Too late to think like that. Besides, you
don’t have enough money for the bus ride back home.
I bet they have a Western Union here. The
one in St. Louis did. I could just have Dad send me the money.
You’re not going back. You got to go get
your sister, Blood Mama
said.
What if she doesn’t want to be gotten?
This isn’t the time for what-if’s. You’ve
got to get off your rear right now and start looking before something real bad
happens to her.
Panic began to
stir in Budda’s gut. If Addie was in such a mess, others were more capable of
helping her. Maybe he’d call his dad after all. Blood Mama stopped him before
he could pull the phone from his backpack.
This is something only you can do, she said. Nobody else knows the girl like you.
The bus from
Indianapolis to Louisville had been less than half full. As soon as the
passengers had departed and retrieved their luggage, they quickly dispersed
into the city. It was like the terminal had already closed for the night. No
one was inside but a woman who swept the lobby floor. Only Budda and the girl
from the bus remained in the lobby. The girl asked the janitor if she could
suggest any cheap restaurants nearby that stayed open late. That’s the kind of
question a smart girl would ask, Budda thought.
“There’s a big
McDonald’s up on Broadway that stays open,” the woman said, continuing to
corral a pile of paper coffee cups and other trash with her broom. “It’s at
Second Street, which isn’t too far. A cab ride wouldn’t cost much. There’s
always one or two waiting out front.”
“I’m not real
excited about paying for another ride after I just paid for this one,” the girl
said.
“Don’t think
about getting there on foot. A girl your age ought not to be out walking alone
at night,” the custodian said, sounding more like a mother than a Greyhound
employee. “You go on and let the taxi take you.”
Unworried, the
girl said, “I can do just fine by myself. This place’s a lot smaller than
Indianapolis.”
“Maybe,” the
woman said. “But that doesn’t make it any nicer. You stay alert to your
surroundings.”
The girl strode
with confidence toward the exit, an Old Navy overnight bag swinging off her
arm. It dawned on Budda that he hadn’t eaten since lunch at school. He decided
McDonald’s was where he needed to go, too. It might also be a good idea to keep
an eye on the girl, in case she encountered any of those bad elements the
Greyhound woman warned about.
The girl walked
up Seventh Street and then turned left at Broadway where traffic was heavier.
Budda wondered if downtown St. Louis was just as busy at two on a Friday
morning. He had never been there that late to know. His dad strictly enforced a
ten o’clock curfew on weeknights and ten-thirty on Fridays and Saturdays — no
exceptions. The man fretted incessantly, like he still believed in the Boogie
Man. He wouldn’t let Budda, Lando, or any of the foster kids that had come
through their rambling three-story home, play in the backyard unless he could
watch them. He said you never knew when a rampaging maniac would come smashing
through their privacy fence and carry them off. And then who would be sorry?
This remained the man’s dreadful outlook, even though Budda was approaching six
feet and Lando was five-ten and pushing hard against 275 pounds. If anyone
needed to worry about being carried off, it was their five-six, 140-pound
father.
The parade of
foster kids, many of them used to much more lax living environments, hated the
house rules even more than Budda and Lando did. Addie bristled most.
“I get no
privacy around here,” she said. “It’s gotten to where he’s standing guard
outside the bathroom when I take a pee. He knocks on the door and asks if I’m
okay in there.”
“It’s for our
own good. He’s just trying to keep us all safe,” said Budda, parroting what he
had heard Dad say many times. As an adoptee who took his father’s last name, he
felt it necessary to defend the man to his temporary siblings.
“Nobody can
guarantee anyone’s safety,” Addie said. “If the Boogie Man chooses to come
after you, a 43-year-old environmental engineer in tie dye and granola sandals won’t
do much to scare him off.”
Until Addie came
to live with them, Budda hadn’t felt suffocated by his father’s relentless
fretting about imagined dangers. Lando often complained about their father too,
but then, he was a chronic complainer. Budda had tuned him out a long time ago.
With Addie, Budda began to see things differently. Any time Budda broke a rule,
even something harmless like reading a comic book in bed after lights out, he
was overcome with guilt for days. But Addie had a different type of conscience.
She ignored curfew, ate what she wanted when she wanted, and came and went from
the house as she pleased. She didn’t always come home alone either. Budda was
certain that she had sex with at least two different boys in her room when
their parents were away. And she got away with it.
An orange
rear-loading garbage truck rumbled to a halt along the curb just ahead of
Budda. A man in a backwards Atlanta baseball cap hopped off the back, thwacked
off the lid to a public trash can and dumped its contents in the crusher. As
the truck geared up and moved past Budda, he spotted a brown stream of stale
beer and other ooze leaking from the back corner of the truck, right where the
man rode.
My Lord, you could never get me to live
in this place, Blood
Mama said. Too much stinky-stink.
Budda had to
agree. He wasn’t getting a pleasing first impression of Kentucky. But his ride
across Illinois taught him that he should hold off on making any snap
judgments.
It’s just normal city smells, he said.
You’re an expert on all things urban all
of a sudden? Just keep your eyes on what you’re doing. There’s bound to be all
sorts of nasties out on a mild night like this. I can’t wait until we get out
of the city and into the country where the girl is.
Blood Mama
wasn’t helping Budda conquer his fear of the strange city. Few people occupied
the sidewalks, but anyone of them could hide a weapon. He closed his gap behind
the girl to about twenty feet. After another block along Broadway, the girl
turned abruptly, with something in her raised right hand that Budda couldn’t
identify in the shadows.
“I got pepper
spray, and I’ll use it on your ugly face if you come an inch closer,” the girl
said.
Book Review:
This was
an interesting book. The view of how
some children react to being placed into foster care and the disconnect ehy can
feel when parents are unable to properly care for them properly. It also highlights the importance of sibling
bonds. Granted this is a sub-theme of
the story, but having worked in this field this is near and dear to my heart.
The
story is somewhat rambling with no real clear plot line other than that the
fact that Budda wants to find a former foster sister and save her because the
voices in his heard tell him do. That
said the story is easy to read and would be a good beach read.
I give
this book 3 out of 5.
This
product or book may have been distributed for review; this in no way affects my
opinions or reviews.
Blurb
:
Fifteen-year-old
Budda (Butter with a southern drawl) Jessico leads an unremarkable and
anonymous life in suburban St. Louis. He’s not unpopular, because someone would
first have to notice him. Except for the tormenting by his older brother,
however, Budda is content. He follows his father’s rules and stays out of
trouble. Then, at the urging of Blood Mama (his birth mother), a voice only
Budda hears, he catches a bus to Kentucky to rescue his former foster sister,
Addie.
As soon as Budda reaches Louisville, he goes to a McDonald’s for the first time in his life where he meets the resolute Baresha, a fellow runaway on her own adventure. Then Budda’s mission to find his sister goes downhill. He hitches a ride to Valkyrie, Addie’s hometown, in hopes of saving her from some danger Blood Mama won’t reveal. Instead, Budda encounters her blood kin, led by the ominous Odyn Starkwether and his violent brother Dickie.
A drug shipment controlled by the Starkwethers has disappeared and so has Addie. The brothers have a mess to clean up, and Budda is soon in the middle of it. At first, Budda goes along willingly, if it will help him find Addie. Before long, though, Budda realizes it’s sometimes better to stay put.
As soon as Budda reaches Louisville, he goes to a McDonald’s for the first time in his life where he meets the resolute Baresha, a fellow runaway on her own adventure. Then Budda’s mission to find his sister goes downhill. He hitches a ride to Valkyrie, Addie’s hometown, in hopes of saving her from some danger Blood Mama won’t reveal. Instead, Budda encounters her blood kin, led by the ominous Odyn Starkwether and his violent brother Dickie.
A drug shipment controlled by the Starkwethers has disappeared and so has Addie. The brothers have a mess to clean up, and Budda is soon in the middle of it. At first, Budda goes along willingly, if it will help him find Addie. Before long, though, Budda realizes it’s sometimes better to stay put.
About the
Author:
I started my adult
life as a journalist, but gave it up when I realized I wasn't going to become
Walter Cronkite. I grew up in small towns in Missouri and Iowa, which make my
adopted hometown of Louisville look like Manhattan.
I envy the dialogue of Daniel Woodrell, the sense of place of Silas House, and how Wendell Berry makes writing seem deceptively easy. I appreciate Elmore Leonard for being Elmore Leonard. I don't write like anyone but me.
I envy the dialogue of Daniel Woodrell, the sense of place of Silas House, and how Wendell Berry makes writing seem deceptively easy. I appreciate Elmore Leonard for being Elmore Leonard. I don't write like anyone but me.
Contacts:
<a href="http://innovativeonlinebooktours.com/"
target="_blank" style="color: #000000;"><img
alt="" width="295" height="212"
style="border-width: 0px; border-style: solid;"
class="aligncenter" src="http://i1161.photobucket.com/albums/q505/iobooktours/Budda-page1-1.jpg"
/></a>
Excerpt:
The
Night Budda Got Deep in It
1
Budda finished
the plastic-sheathed copy of Oliver Twist
and jammed it into his overstuffed backpack. The book wouldn’t be due back at
the school library for another week, but he already considered it stolen,
because he would never return to Kirkwood High. He had never pilfered anything
before. Never so much as broken curfew. And now he was running off to Kentucky.
With a stolen book. With money he thieved from his brother. My, what a rebel he
had become.
The library book
had more or less engaged him until the end, though Budda could have made do
with half as many words — a good portion of which could have been Swahili, for
all he knew. He’d only decided to read the book to look and feel smarter,
though that objective hadn’t been met.
Budda fantasized
about a Dickens spin on his own story, one where a mysterious benefactor or
long-lost relative would rescue him from his crummy life. Or, at least, what
passed for crummy in the mind of a kid who felt oppressed by his loathsome big
brother and fretful father. He met the basic requirements. He never met his
birth parents, and he was running away from the one who raised him. Budda could
envision destiny leading him to reunite with the parents he never knew, or
possibly a rich, doting relative who would support him for life.
Never mind that
Budda had never been to Kentucky and knew no one there except for Addie. And
never mind that his family life wasn’t as bad as he imagined. Try to convince a
15-year-old differently when he has his mind made up, and see how far you get.
No Oliver Twist
ending for Budda. His birth mother, who gave him up when he was a day old,
overdosed in the Sikeston Motel 6. Her body was in full hypostasis when the
manager discovered her the next day, a crust of vomit on the carpet where her
face lay.
If she were
still alive, she couldn’t have sworn on a Gideon who Budda’s biological father
was. At best, she could narrow the list to three lamentable candidates — give
her that much credit — but none of them had rich relatives or were prone to
doting on anything other than a bottle of Old Grand Dad. Budda’s parentage was
Missouri dead-end hill trash to the core. His adoptive family, even the oafish
brother he hoped would someday lose a limb in a wood chipper, was quite a few
steps above that.
Budda’s birth
mother, the one he called Blood Mama, had kept him company ever since his
foster care days. She rode with him now on the Greyhound. She was no ghost to
Budda, because she was still alive as far as he knew. (The story of the Motel 6
would have to wait a while.) She was more like an invisible advisor, a constant
presence who counseled him, though often wrongly, on every aspect of his life.
He knew nothing about the real Blood Mama, other than that her tweaking habit
had kept her from keeping him. He pictured her alive somewhere down in the
Boot-heel, working on getting her life straight. Budda would give her plenty of
time to make the right ways stick, and then he’d go find her, too, just like he
was doing with Addie.
It was Blood
Mama who convinced him to give up on his family and to take after Addie. Blood
Mama said his foster sister needed saving from something, though she had been
short on specifics. Budda had a feeling Blood Mama wasn’t sure herself what the
trouble was. It didn’t matter. Budda had pined for his sister since she had
moved out. Once he found her and rescued her from whatever mess she was in, he
would start a new life in Kentucky. It couldn’t be any worse than life in
Kirkwood.
Blood Mama
currently advised Budda on what he should do about his father.
Don’t you think I should call him? Budda asked.
You’ll just get him riled up more. If
you’re running away, you need to make a clean break of it, Blood Mama said.
I don’t want him to be worried. You know
how he is. He’ll think somebody abducted me.
So you think he’ll quit worrying if he
knows you run off from home and crossed three state lines to find the girl
instead? Just let him be.
I won’t call him, but I should at least
text him, Budda said,
thumbing the keys on his phone. I won’t
say where I’m going, but I’ll tell him not to worry.
Well then, he’ll be sure to sleep sound
tonight, won’t he?
Budda usually
listened patiently to what Blood Mama had to say, which took up a good deal of
time, because the woman had an opinion on everything. With all that listening,
Budda didn’t have much time for talking. The less he spoke, the dumber people
thought he was. Budda didn’t fight that perception, because he believed there
was a good amount of truth to it. He didn’t remember anything about his first
foster family, but he theorized he had been dropped on his head, because even
simple ideas came alive in his brain only with great effort, as slow to ignite
as rain-sated firewood.
Budda didn’t
talk out loud to Blood Mama, but he sometimes moved his lips and even
gesticulated when he got lost in conversation with her. For that, kids at
school thought he wasn’t only slow, but a bit off upstairs. Future wacko hobo
material. That didn’t make him unique at Kirkwood High, but it didn’t guarantee
a lot of prom dates either.
By the time the
Greyhound reached Effingham, Illinois, commercial bus travel had lost its
appeal for Budda. His bony butt was not contoured for long trips, and this was
the longest one he had been on. Even worse, the driver maintained an
uncomfortably cold cabin. Budda shivered for much of the trip, because he
hadn’t brought anything warm to wear — it had been unseasonably mild for
mid-October when he left St. Louis. Proper preparation was not his strong suit.
According to Budda’s
phone, which was a scratch-and-dent, double hand-me-down Nokia from his dad to
his brother to him, it was a little after eight in the evening. The aquamarine
display flashed another text message from his father, which Budda deleted
without reading. He turned off the audio alerts so he wouldn’t be tempted to
answer when his father called or texted again, which he would do repeatedly,
because the man was most in his element when he had something big to worry
about. And this was a whopper.
It soon wouldn’t
matter how often his dad tried to reach Budda. The Nokia’s battery was on its
last bar, and he had neglected to pack its charger.
In a span of a few hours, Budda would visit
three states that were new to him. He had never been to Illinois until that night,
even though he lived only twenty minutes the other side of the Mississippi.
He’d always imagined Illinois was just like East St. Louis from border to
border. He had heard enough stories about the city across the river that he
pictured it as an endless string of beer and shot bars, low wattage strip
joints, and condemned two-stories that had transformed into crack houses. He
also believed psycho killers prowled for innocent teenagers in every dark
alley. Budda came by these ideas through his father, who had warned Budda and
Lando about the atrocities that awaited them in the Land of Lincoln.
“Don’t ever,
ever cross that bridge,” Dad said. “It’s easy to get lost over there. If you do,
I’m afraid I’ll never see you alive again. Your name and picture will be on the
front page of the Post-Dispatch when
they find chunks of you in some industrial waste dump.”
What a sunny
outlook the man had, yet Budda had never doubted him. Until this night, Budda
had been the obedient son, the one who was never tempted to sneak across the
river to that devil’s playground, or anywhere else beyond a two block radius of
home. Now he had flushed away all that built-up trustworthiness, because he was
overcome with the need to see Addie, the only one in his family who had ever
treated him like he had more going on upstairs than an earthworm.
The Illinois
that Budda saw now wasn’t at all forbidden-looking, unless a guy was allergic
to corn or other grain crops. There wasn’t much to the Illinois color palette,
just monochromatic beiges as far as he could see, with not a stripper or crack
whore anywhere in sight. When the sanguine sun dropped past the meridian on its
way to California, the landscape became speckled with the lights of remote
farmsteads. Those must be some lonely people living out there, Budda thought.
He hoped Kentucky wasn’t like that. He preferred suburbs like Kirkwood with
lots of lights, people, and signs to tell you where to go if you got lost.
Budda switched
to a different bus in Indianapolis, which was not as full as the first one. He
regarded a girl about his age who sat near the front of the bus. Budda couldn’t
make out what she looked like, if she was pretty or plain, but she was the only
other young person on the trip, and she seemed much more acclimated to bus
riding than Budda did. She got on, sunk into her seat like she was in for the
long haul, and plugged in the ear buds to her iPod. He admired and envied her
lackadaisical demeanor, as though she had ridden a thousand buses just like
this one and nothing could faze her. Conversely, he was sure all the other
passengers knew just by looking at him that he was a novice at bus travel. He
was the one who couldn’t walk down to the street corner without his father
wanting to put a tracking device on him.
Budda mused
about what he might say to the girl if given the chance. He had never said more
than a word or two to any girl other than Addie, who wasn’t really his sister
in a blood or legal way. She had left the Jessico home and moved back to a
God-knows-where-hamlet in Kentucky. Addie had told him the name of the place,
saying it was near Louisville, which she pronounced “Lou-vull”, like the middle
syllable wasn’t worth the effort. Budda remembered that part well, but he
couldn’t quite grab hold of the name of Addie’s hometown. He was sure it was
stuck in his memory, but buried in there so deeply that he couldn’t bust it
loose.
That was another
important detail he should have nailed down before he left St. Louis. Taking a
minute to scan the Louisville area on Google Maps would have helped him summon
up the name of Addie’s town, but he didn’t think of that. That and the fact he didn’t have his sister’s
phone number would indicate that his journey wouldn’t go well, but Blood Mama
said Budda was just being whimsical. Tomato/tomahto.
The bus pulled
into the Louisville station shortly after two in the morning. Budda could tell
as the bus crossed the Ohio River that Louisville’s skyline was smaller than
the one in St. Louis. He trusted that would make it easier to find Addie. He
was for sure going to put everything he had into the effort, because he could
never return to St. Louis. His brother would kill him the second he got back
inside the front door.
Budda didn’t
know what to do now that he was in Louisville. He had no plans for how to start
looking for Addie. Second thoughts started to creep into his head just as he
was about to step off the bus.
Don’t turn into a weenie on me already, Blood Mama said. You’re not going anywhere but to find and rescue your sister.
I think this was a bad idea, Blood Mama.
I don’t even know where to find her, and you’re not telling me what trouble
she’s in. What if it’s something I can’t get her out of?
Too late to think like that. Besides, you
don’t have enough money for the bus ride back home.
I bet they have a Western Union here. The
one in St. Louis did. I could just have Dad send me the money.
You’re not going back. You got to go get
your sister, Blood Mama
said.
What if she doesn’t want to be gotten?
This isn’t the time for what-if’s. You’ve
got to get off your rear right now and start looking before something real bad
happens to her.
Panic began to
stir in Budda’s gut. If Addie was in such a mess, others were more capable of
helping her. Maybe he’d call his dad after all. Blood Mama stopped him before
he could pull the phone from his backpack.
This is something only you can do, she said. Nobody else knows the girl like you.
The bus from
Indianapolis to Louisville had been less than half full. As soon as the
passengers had departed and retrieved their luggage, they quickly dispersed
into the city. It was like the terminal had already closed for the night. No
one was inside but a woman who swept the lobby floor. Only Budda and the girl
from the bus remained in the lobby. The girl asked the janitor if she could
suggest any cheap restaurants nearby that stayed open late. That’s the kind of
question a smart girl would ask, Budda thought.
“There’s a big
McDonald’s up on Broadway that stays open,” the woman said, continuing to
corral a pile of paper coffee cups and other trash with her broom. “It’s at
Second Street, which isn’t too far. A cab ride wouldn’t cost much. There’s
always one or two waiting out front.”
“I’m not real
excited about paying for another ride after I just paid for this one,” the girl
said.
“Don’t think
about getting there on foot. A girl your age ought not to be out walking alone
at night,” the custodian said, sounding more like a mother than a Greyhound
employee. “You go on and let the taxi take you.”
Unworried, the
girl said, “I can do just fine by myself. This place’s a lot smaller than
Indianapolis.”
“Maybe,” the
woman said. “But that doesn’t make it any nicer. You stay alert to your
surroundings.”
The girl strode
with confidence toward the exit, an Old Navy overnight bag swinging off her
arm. It dawned on Budda that he hadn’t eaten since lunch at school. He decided
McDonald’s was where he needed to go, too. It might also be a good idea to keep
an eye on the girl, in case she encountered any of those bad elements the
Greyhound woman warned about.
The girl walked
up Seventh Street and then turned left at Broadway where traffic was heavier.
Budda wondered if downtown St. Louis was just as busy at two on a Friday
morning. He had never been there that late to know. His dad strictly enforced a
ten o’clock curfew on weeknights and ten-thirty on Fridays and Saturdays — no
exceptions. The man fretted incessantly, like he still believed in the Boogie
Man. He wouldn’t let Budda, Lando, or any of the foster kids that had come
through their rambling three-story home, play in the backyard unless he could
watch them. He said you never knew when a rampaging maniac would come smashing
through their privacy fence and carry them off. And then who would be sorry?
This remained the man’s dreadful outlook, even though Budda was approaching six
feet and Lando was five-ten and pushing hard against 275 pounds. If anyone
needed to worry about being carried off, it was their five-six, 140-pound
father.
The parade of
foster kids, many of them used to much more lax living environments, hated the
house rules even more than Budda and Lando did. Addie bristled most.
“I get no
privacy around here,” she said. “It’s gotten to where he’s standing guard
outside the bathroom when I take a pee. He knocks on the door and asks if I’m
okay in there.”
“It’s for our
own good. He’s just trying to keep us all safe,” said Budda, parroting what he
had heard Dad say many times. As an adoptee who took his father’s last name, he
felt it necessary to defend the man to his temporary siblings.
“Nobody can
guarantee anyone’s safety,” Addie said. “If the Boogie Man chooses to come
after you, a 43-year-old environmental engineer in tie dye and granola sandals won’t
do much to scare him off.”
Until Addie came
to live with them, Budda hadn’t felt suffocated by his father’s relentless
fretting about imagined dangers. Lando often complained about their father too,
but then, he was a chronic complainer. Budda had tuned him out a long time ago.
With Addie, Budda began to see things differently. Any time Budda broke a rule,
even something harmless like reading a comic book in bed after lights out, he
was overcome with guilt for days. But Addie had a different type of conscience.
She ignored curfew, ate what she wanted when she wanted, and came and went from
the house as she pleased. She didn’t always come home alone either. Budda was
certain that she had sex with at least two different boys in her room when
their parents were away. And she got away with it.
An orange
rear-loading garbage truck rumbled to a halt along the curb just ahead of
Budda. A man in a backwards Atlanta baseball cap hopped off the back, thwacked
off the lid to a public trash can and dumped its contents in the crusher. As
the truck geared up and moved past Budda, he spotted a brown stream of stale
beer and other ooze leaking from the back corner of the truck, right where the
man rode.
My Lord, you could never get me to live
in this place, Blood
Mama said. Too much stinky-stink.
Budda had to
agree. He wasn’t getting a pleasing first impression of Kentucky. But his ride
across Illinois taught him that he should hold off on making any snap
judgments.
It’s just normal city smells, he said.
You’re an expert on all things urban all
of a sudden? Just keep your eyes on what you’re doing. There’s bound to be all
sorts of nasties out on a mild night like this. I can’t wait until we get out
of the city and into the country where the girl is.
Blood Mama
wasn’t helping Budda conquer his fear of the strange city. Few people occupied
the sidewalks, but anyone of them could hide a weapon. He closed his gap behind
the girl to about twenty feet. After another block along Broadway, the girl
turned abruptly, with something in her raised right hand that Budda couldn’t
identify in the shadows.
“I got pepper
spray, and I’ll use it on your ugly face if you come an inch closer,” the girl
said.
Book Review:
This was an interesting book. It was a good view of the emotional disconnect that children in foster care can feel when iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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